Well Rounded

 

As a parent, I find myself doing for others much more than I ever do for myself. Picking up, taxiing around, making meals, homework help, not to mention working outside of the home. In a land of doing for others all day, it can be pretty easy to find yourself in resentment mode. You find yourself snapping at small children and dogs, the kids have taken to yelling, "Lookout!! Here comes the Momster!!" Your partner hides in the office for as long as possible just to avoid the bullets. You see? Resentment mode is not cool. I know being a parent is an often thankless job, but what can you do to avoid the resentment-monster and her rampage? Try this:

Accept help.

I am terrible for this. There are certain things I like to do myself and it bugs me when someone else "tries" to do them, but sometimes it is just plain necessary. Voice your concerns to your partner and be specific and make sure you aren't nagging when you do it. "Honey, I need you to put away all the dishes for me and reload the dishwasher...I don't have time to do it and I need some help." This approach is a lot more effective than, "Why doesn't anybody do this, but me?" Men and children cannot read minds, women pretend to although it boils down to being a little more observant. It may make you crabby to have to spell it out, but it is the best way to get things done and keep the momster in check. ;0)

Just say no.

This isn't just good for peer pressure, it is also good for zapping that mom-guilt. I think most moms struggle with it. You can't be everywhere and do everything (no matter how hard you try) and you beat yourself up over it. But, why? Your kids know you love them and I'll bet none of them are going to damaged irreversibly if you don't make their beds everyday, or make them walk home from school, or feed them PB and J for dinner sometimes. Change you internal dialogue from "I feel bad that I couldn't do this" to "I tried my best and that's all I can do". And while you're at it, don't do any of this overcompensation crap either. You get the kids things because you fell bad instead of insisting they earn them or you take them someplace extravagant and spend way too much. The best times I remember with my folks growing up were when we just spent time together. We played games and we enjoyed nature together and it was simple and that's what I remember most. Keep it in mind.

Do something just for you.

When was the last time you and your mister went on a date? When was the last time you did something that you love to do? Can't remember? Then you are about due! I try hard to do something just for me everyday, mostly because I just need it! I'll play my piano for 20 minutes or write a blog post or take pictures or paint or sew or sometimes the thing I want most is a nap and I'll do that! The kids get ornery when they have to do school stuff all the time, so where does it say the same thing doesn't apply to you? Exactly my point.

As for the momster, I'll try to keep her in check. ;0)

tHiS iS wHaT i LiKe (post 311)

J. Lamb 2010

Autumn.

You know it's no secret that this is by far my favorite time of year! The weather gets cooler, my Fall wardrobe is far more interesting, cooking and heating up the kitchen is again desirable, and the world transforms into a golden blast of color before the long sleep of winter. Even with my ridiculously busy schedule of work, kids, more work, and kids again, I make sure to take some time to cook up some of my favorite dishes!

I've mentioned before about one of my favorite sites for recipes is ALLRECIPES.COM. I love their easy to follow recipes and tons of ideas for anything you could possibly want to cook. Last week I was in the mood for something in the way of soup and maybe pumpkin, yum! I lucked out and found this yummy recipe:

Coconut Curry Pumpkin Soup 

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup coconut oil
• 1 cup chopped onions
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 3 cups vegetable broth
• 1 teaspoon curry powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 (15 ounce) can 100% pure pumpkin
• 1 cup light coconut milk

Directions

1. Heat the coconut oil in a deep pot over medium-high heat. Stir in the onions and garlic; cook until the onions are translucent, about 5 minutes. Mix in the vegetable broth, curry powder, salt, coriander, and red pepper flakes. Cook and stir until the mixture comes to a gentle boil, about 10 minutes. Cover, and boil 15 to 20 minutes more, stirring occasionally. Whisk in the pumpkin and coconut milk, and cook another 5 minutes.
2. Pour the soup into a blender, filling only half way and working in batches if necessary; process until smooth. Return to a pot, and reheat briefly over medium heat before serving.  

I know you're thinking, wait, curry?! Isn't that seriously spicy? I say if you haven't tried it, don't knock it! I am convinced that you can add curry to just about anything and it makes it better! Think more of a smokey flavor than a hot flavor. This soup was soooo good too! Totally satisfied the soup/pumpkin craving I was having and super easy to make too!

My GF Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe is a much requested treat and in fact, my man has just about polished off the last batch I made in April! (Gotta love my freezer!)

(The original recipe is here also on Allrecipes.com , I just modified it a bit to make it GF and Dairy-free)

 

GF/ Dairy free Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Cookies

Ingredients

• 1 cup shortening
• 2 cups white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
• 4 cups gluten-free all-purpose flour (such as Bob's Red Mill)
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 pinch ground nutmeg
• 1 cup gluten/dairy free semisweet chocolate chips (I use semi-sweet chocolate mini chips from Enjoy Life , which I just get at Wal-Mart BTW)
• 1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets.
2. In a large bowl, cream together the shortening and white sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time. Stir in the vanilla and pumpkin until well blended. Combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg; stir into the pumpkin mixture. Mix in the chocolate chips. Stir in the walnuts if desired. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto the prepared cookie sheets.
3. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, until edges begin to brown. Allow to cool for a few minutes on the baking sheets before removing to wire racks to cool completely. 

What are some of your favorite fall treats to make? I would love to hear them at shesnotyouraveragemom@yahoo.com or come and visit me at facebook.com/ShE's NoT yOuR aVeRaGe MoM. Hooray for Fall!! ;0D 

10 things

(Well, not you specifically...just in general)

The image above is from one of my favorite movies. A modernized version of Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew (thank you Wikipedia), I enjoy it for it's witty one-liners mixed with a healthy serving of teenage angst.  Not that it really has anything to do at with the post I'm about to write (aside from the title perhaps), I just happened to like it...um, so there?! ;0) I have been cooking up this post for quite sometime now and I know I haven't been all that "share-y" lately, I really do think about writing, even when I lack the time and energy. I have compiled a list of obvious bugs I have, I know I'm known for being overly opinionated (in blog-land that is) but, in real life, I am a pretty easy going, go with the flow type of NoT sO aVeRaGe. ;0) And for the record, I don't really hate any of this...it just made a good title. I dislike with a passion, would perhaps be more accurate? ;0) These are in no particular order:

1. Blanketed statements.

You know the kind, the statements that begin with "you always" or "you never" and involve some sort of all inclusive or exclusive nonsense. "I always pick up after you" or "You've never done that", as far as I can tell (and I am a reasonable sort of person) it is nearly impossible to assume that something happens with such consistency. There has to be some point in life that you actually picked up after yourself or did something you supposedly never do. We're not programmed robots here, we're humans and humans are not so rigid in habit...um, ever. Try this again, "I seem to pick up after you a lot" or "That would be out of character for you", no inclusive or exclusive rhetoric here. ;0)

2. Explaining myself.

If my actions somehow involve you, I am happy to explain what I'm doing. If they don't then, why on earth do you care? Last I checked, it is my God-given right to live exactly how I choose to live, period. I am really sick of explaining exactly how things work at my house or even exactly how I feel about them. No, I'm not married. Yes, I support myself. Yes, I'm in a committed relationship. No, I don't care what you think...period.

3. Assumptions.

You know the old adage, when you assume you make an @$$ out of U and ME? Exactly my point. I don't ever assume to know how you feel because I AM NOT YOU. Get it? I can relate from personal experience (and because I am a little socially backward, that tends to be only way I can relate), but I can't assume to know exactly how you feel. If you want to know something, just ask...don't just assume you know, because chances are...you don't.

4. Formatting.

A very good way to organize your thoughts, your blog posts, your computer files, yes...I'll agree with all of this...to a point. (Save the computer files...by all means keep up with the formatting) I have a format I've followed for this blog for a year and a half now, but I've found that in the limited amount of time I have to share it really stifles my creativity. So, down with the format I say!! Hey, it's Monday?! Where's the tHiS iS wHaT i LiKe segment? It's gone to a better place I tell you and you're better off without it! (Not really, I just haven't reviewed anything worth touting lately...I've been busy okay?!) Eh, it's my blog right? Damn straight! ;0)

5. Being made fun of for talking to myself.

I have a disorganized thought process. (Really, I had no idea?!) Okay, this is probably fairly obvious when I start out talking about something and end up in left field by the end. (I.E. this blog...hmmm) If I have to do something that requires all steps to be done in a precise order, the only way to get it to click in that order to me, is to recite it aloud. I'm not crazy (well, that may very well be relative), but I do know that this works and therefor I shall continue to do it. (Parenthesis and all) ;0)

6. Judgmental People.


People come in all sorts of colors, shapes and sizes, backgrounds, orientations, circumstances, religious preferences and what not. The one thing we all have in common is, we are human. Hate is such a waste of an emotion and if you are my friend, I could care less about any of these things. That being said, I can't for the life of me figure out where people get the notion that they are somehow "better " than others. Be it the high and mighty of the so-called Christians or the snobbery that comes with wealth, I just don't get it. If you get off on putting other people down, then I have no time for you.

7. Bad parenting.

I'm sure if you've read more of these posts, you know how bad this bugs me. You have been entrusted to make sure these little souls are taken care of and nurtured and brought up to become the leaders of tomorrow. They are not a burden, they are not an annoyance, they are not even mini-yous, they are a gift and should be treated as such. The bond between parent and child is a strong one and if you enjoy them and make sure you are the very best parent possible, you will be taken care of in your old age at the very least. ;0)

8. Disrespect.

It has become the norm for people of all ages to be just down right disrespectful. You are destroying other people's things, you are not respecting the opinions of others, you aren't even teaching your children not to do this. If it's not yours don't touch it, if it is blatantly offensive don't say it. Show some common courtesy to those around you, say "please" and "thank you", smile at strangers, open doors for old ladies and the infirm. Teach your children to do the same. Insist upon it.

9. Basing your happiness on the actions of others.

"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."~Dalai Lama 

You can't go around in this world expecting others to make you happy, I know because I tried that for years and it doesn't work, ha! You have to do what makes you happy or tell others what makes you happy or you have to just plain accept yourself for exactly who you are. "You're making me unhappy", no you are allowing yourself to be that way. We are all in charge of us, how we react to people, situations, circumstances, and no one can choose for us how to feel. Choose to be happy. I know you're thinking this just sounds way to easy and really the concept is a really simple one and that, my friend is the point. ;0)


10. Being Overcomplicated.

Despite a larger than average fluency in the English language (ha!), I am quite simple as a person. I love deeply. I observe quietly. I enjoy beauty in all things. I read for entertainment. My kids are my world. As long as I have converse sneakers on my feet, a Dr. Pepper in one hand, my camera in the other, my man by my side, and my kids laughter echoing as music past my ears, I am happy. Simple as that.