love grows

 

First off let me apologize for my inconsistency here. I blog 5 days a week for nearly a year and then now we're down to maybe 3? I've noticed that my numbers have dropped off significantly too. No one visits when you don't have anything to say, right? Apparently, this is the case! I know the "I've been busy" excuse gets old after a while and maybe what I have to say just isn't all that interesting anymore...eh, either might be the case though. I'm not giving up (yet) anyway and I'll share when I can. Honestly, some days it's just enough to work, get home, and make dinner...sigh. Anyway here goes:

Becoming a mother for the first time when I was 21 was scary. Aside from not having any idea what I was doing, I was unsure of how I was going to feel about this new life being given to me. My story might be a little different from those who do it right from the get go. I did things out of order and was not given the full support of my family because of it (they came around though). I felt very frightened and alone and my husband was perhaps more infantile emotionally than my newborn son. The funny thing is though, the second he was handed to me in the hospital and I was able to see his scrunched up little face, I was hooked. A seed of love was planted and continued to grow.

The same scary awareness happened when I found myself expecting my second child. I loved my son so much and my marriage was was hanging by a thread, I had no idea how I would feel having another child. You become afraid that you won't have enough love for both. I grew another heart, planted another seed and found I was able to love both equally. Amazing, isn't it?

I was actually done at two. I had one of each, my husband and I weren't outnumbered. Something was nagging at the back of my mind though, we had one more child waiting for us. When I had my third, I was overwhelmed. It was nearly impossible to take them all with me somewhere and maintain my sanity. I had run out of hands to hold. 3 sets of diapers for a while was brutal and bath and bedtime seemed to take an eternity to accomplish. Despite all of this, I look back and remember my little one (who stayed with me in my room the entire time we were in the hospital) looking up at me in the middle of the night as I spoke to him. Wide eyes full of love and unquestioning acceptance and I knew. I had planted a third seed of love and it bloomed as large as the other two.

At age 26, I again found myself alone. My marriage had ended. My (ex)husband had been extremely controlling and abusive and I almost lost myself. He made me drop off my kids 400 miles away and he left, leaving me all alone. My babies were only 4 1/2, 3, and 1. I struggled emotionally and I only made it because I had lots of support from my family and My Man. At age 26, I realized I didn't need the approval of anyone else to be happy. My happiness and well-being depends on me. I can choose to love who I wish and I can choose how I react to others. I also found that it is impossible to find happiness without a love for yourself. I analyzed my reactions to things and it's a work in progress still, but I planted a seed of love and respect for myself.

Keep in mind that you cannot continue to grow a garden of love without a lot of work. Think about it, if you plant a garden in your yard you have to water it, weed it, fertilize it, and give it lots of fresh air and sunshine. The same thing goes with your relationships and even yourself. Tend your love garden with care and continue to watch it grow. ;0)

TiP fOr TuEsDaY (post 282)

 

But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved. Mathew 24:13


I don't know about you, but for me patience isn't all that easy. When you live in a 24/7, always connected, sleep deprived society, the term "be patient" doesn't really apply. You have access to a plethora of knowledge with a few clicks and entertainment on a whim. Everything is faster, brighter, louder, busier than just a few years ago and when it comes to actually having to wait for something, we complain. So, you need to be more patient in your life, but don't know where to start? Try this:

Work with the elderly/disabled.

"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them
master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight..."
~ Helen Keller

Volunteering time to those who are in need (especially those who cannot do for themselves) is a great way to be more patient. You can't rush through things and have to take the time to appreciate what you have. Consider it.

Disconnect.

Take a time out from the all-connected society in which we live. Vacation someplace remote where you simply can't be connected. Declare media free days at home. Although I limit media exposure in my home, some days we just turn it all off. I watch my kids get out their toys and imagine and play games and we get to spend quality time together. Appreciating them for who they are is a great way to just be patient and watch them grow.

Plant a garden.

Flowers and plants, much like children, grow at their own pace. You can't rush them either! If you are lucky enough to have room in your yard, take advantage of it and plant flowers and vegetables with your family and make it a family project. If not, plant things in pots on window sills and porches and the result is the same.

Teach.

Teach someone a skill you have, be it your child or in a volunteer setting. You have to be patient to learn and you have to be patient to teach. Give of yourself and put yourself in the shoes of the person learning. You didn't know how to do this once and remember how you felt as you were learning, it will help.

Take time for a little meditation.

I am a huge fan of this when I am all out of patience. Sitting in a quiet room and letting my mind go free is just what I usually need to reset and come back ready for action. 20 minutes of undisturbed silence = heaven. Even when you have little ones, don't feel bad if you do this while the baby naps or for a few minutes after your partner gets home. Teach older kids to respect your time and to leave you alone (just for a little while) and you'll be surprised at how much such a small ritual can help.

Patience, speaking of which I have a child insistent on trying mine today. Mothers of preteen girls, I feel your pain...sigh. ;0) Perhaps a little teaching of a skill is in order for the day!

ThOuGhT fOr ThE dAy (post 281)

J. Lamb 2011

"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination."
~Nelson Mandela

 

Lie to me?

 

We are all a bunch of liars, each and every one of us. I mean, think about it...it is really impossible to be 100% truthful all the time. Whether you are trying to save someone's feelings, or you are afraid of getting caught doing something you shouldn't, or you just can't face the truth yourself, we all do it. I am not 100% truthful, I admit it. I do, however, believe in being up front with people anyway. Read on naysayers and see if you catch yourself doing these things too:

Your friend comes in sporting a new hairdo that just isn't that flattering and expects your positive input do you:

a) Straight up lie and tell her how fabulous it is

b) Lie around the bush and "like" it upfront, but suggest a different way to wear it

c) Crush her spirit and tell her how truly ugly it is and suggest she get her money back

Ha, no easy answer is there? How about this:

Your inquisitive kid asks at age 5 where babies come from, do you:

a) Stick with the stork story, they're too young to figure it out anyway right?

b) You explain it in an age appropriate way (even though you are seriously uncomfortable about it)

c) Sick your kid on the other parent and hide for the next few years

All kidding aside, sometimes being 100% truthful is rough! Although certain things are so hard to be truthful about (even to yourself), you just need to make yourself do it. 

You screwed up big time in your relationship and know that this could potentially break it, do you:

a) Pretend like nothing's wrong, if they haven't figured it out by now...then they won't 

b) Blame the your partner for your wrongdoings, hey he who screams loudest wins right?

c) Fess up right away, no matter the outcome they deserve to know the truth

Yep, no one said being a grownup was easy. Even as a child, Mom could always tell if you were lying, huh? I know mine always could, just as I can tell when my kids are. Don't provide an example of lying for them, be honest even if it is rough. Although I wouldn't recommend you teach absolute truth though, no one needs that kid that is yelling loudly how awful someone smells. I think that this day and age an element of politeness is missing in society. Even if you think this person smells horrid, keep it to yourself! 

"Well don't you just smell like a springtime breeze?" Liar, liar pants on fire! ;0)

tHiS iS wHaT i LiKe (post 278)

Good Stuff from Popcorn Indiana!

Howdy Monday partners, yee ha! I am so excited to share one of my favorite snacks (in all its Gluten-free goodness), Kettle Corn from Popcorn Indiana! Yum!

We love popcorn with a passion around here and when my man went gluten/dairy free he was on the lookout for a good gluten/dairy free snack option. He was so excited when I came across this Kettle Corn variety from Popcorn Indiana. Light, salty-sweet taste, non-greasy and both gluten and dairy free. Some of the other flavors do have dairy (so read the package carefully), but all are delightfully gluten-free! They fresh pop batches of this great stuff daily and I was even impressed by their mission statement (here)! These guys know their healthy, yummy, all natural stuff. They also have an awesome new product called Chip'ins.

Think popcorn and chips combined...so stinking good! We love these great snacks at our house and think you would like them too! tHiS iS wHaT i LiKe, give 'em a whirl! Yum! ;0)

ThOuGhT fOr ThE dAy (post 277)

J. Lamb 2011

"The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time."  ~Abraham Lincoln

One day at a time indeed. Imagine if it all came at once,  you close your eyes and open them again and all the things you knew had changed, had grown, had moved on. It takes one foot in front of the other to go another direction, to improve, to change the world. Open your eyes and observe the present and appreciate it all before looking toward the horizon...for the future only comes one day at a time. Just thought...;0)

Imagine Peace

 

"Maybe we should develop a Crayola bomb as our next secret weapon.  A happiness weapon.  A beauty bomb.  And every time a crisis developed, we would launch one.  It would explode high in the air - explode softly - and send thousands, millions, of little parachutes into the air.  Floating down to earth - boxes of Crayolas.  And we wouldn't go cheap, either - not little boxes of eight.  Boxes of sixty-four, with the sharpener built right in.  With silver and gold and copper, magenta and peach and lime, amber and umber and all the rest.  And people would smile and get a little funny look on their faces and cover the world with imagination."  ~Robert Fulghum

I ran across this quote today and it got me thinking. I know the concept is overly optimistic and syrupy sweet and idealistic, but maybe that is what we are lacking in the world. A world full of hate and violence and just plain rudeness and doubt is what greets us all on the evening news...we are a world full of hateful, violent, rude people who doubt the existence of good...or are we?
The people who view the world in such a idealistic fashion seem to have it all. Cynicism is no match for do-gooder spirit and help-all attitude of the blind-optimist. We CAN help all those less fortunate, we CAN make a difference in the world. No room for the cynics among us, the optimistic spread crayola-like sunshine to all those they surround and one can't help but to smile and think. Think that perhaps the world WOULD be a better place if we bombed each other with crayolas and worked to build those up around us instead of withering in despair.
Color the world with a pack of imagination, bring peace to those who only know hardship. Spread a smile among your fellow men and love thy neighbor as thy brother. Be that person who only wants good in the world and embraces those who have not. Crayola bombs, the war end all. I think I like it. ;0D