When you aren't helping

I like to be helpful, don't you? Providing a service or a listening ear or kind word is so gratifying in so many ways. Do you know one of those people who "think" they are being helpful when they really aren't? Yep. I know people like that too. Unfortunately, you'll come across these kind of people from time to time in life but, what to do about it? What's worse, what if you are one of those people? Read on and see how to deal or change your thinking:

The negative Nellie.

You know who I mean, the kind of person who only finds the bad in any person/situation. "You're doing that all wrong, but I'm just trying to help." Yeah, yeah Mr. Down-in-the-dumps needs to lighten up. Try saying something like, "I know I did my best and I'm okay with that" or "Thanks for your concern, but I think I've got it handled". Ward of the gloom with a little ray of nonchalant positive energy because we all know the sun will dry up any puddle eventually. ;0)

The talk behind your back-er.

Sugary sweet while you're there, points out all of your flaws as soon as you leave. Honestly, I don't expect EVERYONE to like me, but I would much rather you were upfront about it instead of complaining about me when I can't defend myself. I think of people like these as large poultry, hen pecking and too chicken to say it to your face! The very best defense in this situation is to just plain ignore it. You can't live life with such a huge need to be loved by all, it just isn't practical. People are all different in so many ways, you are bound to offend someone somewhere. If you keep hearing about what "so and so" is saying from someone else, ask them not to tell you. Hey, sometimes ignorance really is bliss. ;0)

The overly opinionated.

"This is what I think you should do". Blah, blah, blah. We all have opinions about how the world should revolve, right? Okay, maybe I'm not the best example in this case...I do write a parenting blog and all. You all can choose to read or not read this though, so I guess I'm okay! Unless you are asked, keep your opinions to yourself, period. More than likely if you have not offended someone already, you will be doing so shortly. Not everyone thinks the same, feels the same, wants the same things you do. If you haven't been asked, don't tell. What to do about an opinionated friend/relative/acquaintance? "Thank you for thinking of me and if I need help I'll know just who to ask" or even a simple "I'm good, thanks" will stop them short.

Think about the "nonhelpers" out there like this; either you are super popular and people feel the need to talk about you or maybe they really care about you and only think they are being helpful. I guess either case could be true! ;0)