Tuesday, September 14, 2010

TiP fOr TuEsDaY 9/14/2010



Be calm(er).

I often get asked about and/or complimented on how easy going and well adjusted my kids are. My MIL compliments constantly on "what a good job" I'm doing. I don't know that I am a great parent, but I do know some tricks and being calm or calmer is a huge plus. If you are flighty and fly off the handle frequently, well, why are you surprised your kids are too? I'm pretty easy going for the most part and when there is a crisis, it's always me that stays level headed. The same goes for my dealing with my kids.
I have to remember a friend of mine, who is a bit loud, boisterous, and flighty and often deals with her kids by shouting and can't figure out why they don't listen. She's a bit crazy and therefore, so are her kids! She used to ask how I got such well behaved kids, what my secret was. There is no secret, I'm calm therefore my kids are too. Simple, right?
First off you need to work on you and how you deal with situations. What!? You stuck your brother in the toy chest and now he's stuck!!! Vs. Hey, come on guys...let's not put anybody in the toy chest and help me get him out. How would you react?
Be respectful. You have to give it to get it, right? Barging into you preteens room because it's "your house" and ignoring the protesting. Vs. Knocking and peeking your head into the room and speaking calmly, even though you are getting attitude.
Be honest. Don't lie to your kids, ever. If you want them to respect you and not lie to you, then you need to do the same. "Mom, you forgot to do this for me!" No I didn't, you didn't tell me I needed to. Vs. Omigosh, I did? I'm sorry, let's do it right now.
Honestly, if you can be a little bit more easy going, you'll be surprised how much more easy going you kids will be. If they are shouting, or running indoors, or not speaking to you with respect are you shouting back? chasing them down? being disrespectful back? I can assure you I'm not, I'm getting down on their level and asking them to watch their tone, or nabbing the running offender and planting him next to me and holding their hand, or reminding the disrespectful one that he/she will get no where until they can be more respectful. All of this while remaining calm. Give it a try, it works for me! ;0)

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